Bad Joke Monday

I found a gem of a stupid joke website today, thanks to Ed_88's really stupid jokes. There are some that are funny because they're silly and some that are really so stupid that you laugh only because you feel bad for who ever thought up the joke and thought that it would be funny enough to share with enough people that it would somehow find its way onto the internet.

Q: Why do Lions always eat raw meat?
A: Because they don't know how to cook.

Clearly these lions need to get a copy of the Joy of Cooking.

Bad Joke Monday

So there's these 2 muffins in an oven. They're both sitting, just chilling and getting baked. And one of them yells "God Damn, it's hot in here!" And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"

(Because, honestly, who doesn't love a good muffin joke?)

Bad Joke Monday

As I was searching for some fun one-liners, I stumbled upon this blonde joke that is about a blonde dude. Enjoy!

Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building. The Italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says "Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!" The Chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says "Man, if I get rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!" The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says" Man, if I get a cheeseburger one more time I'm going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"

So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to their death. That weekend at the funeral, the Italian and the Chinese wives are crying and saying "I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never told me." And as the two wives stare at the blonde's wife, they both ask why she isn't sad about her husbands death, the blonde replies "Don't look at me, he packs his own lunch."

TGIT Good Eats

I am really sorry. Really, really sorry. But I could not think of one single thing to post this week. I mean, other than the boxed mac and cheese that I am shoving in my face pretty much non-stop for the last two weeks (there are worse addictions to have, people. DON'T JUDGE ME!).

So I thought I would Google "best dish ever" and I came up with this thread from AnswerBag.com and I thought to myself "Why not just post a link to the thread and then encourage people to go out and find recipes based on the answers to the answers on this thread?". Then I patted myself on the back and called it a day.

Yes, I'm lazy. Don't be hatin', at least I posted something today.

A Moment of Silence

Please, let us all take a moment and mourn the loss of my crock-pot. Yesterday, I dropped the ceramic inside part, effectively rendering my crock-pot useless. (soapy hands + cocktails + laughing hard = DISASTER)

*sniffsniff* Alas, poor crock-pot, I knew you not nearly well enough. You will be dearly missed, oh cooker of meals while I spend my days at a desk in an office (not salving away over a stove).

I am going right now to the Rival website to see if there is any way that I can get my hands on a replacement inside bit (what do you call that part?). I can only hope and pray that I will be able to raise my Crock-Pot from the dead.

Bad Joke Monday

While this poster makes me laugh (I love the way that he is swirling his finger in his beer mug) I feel that I should mention that somethings that are hard ARE worth doing. Like budgeting.

Sexy Saturday: Razor Review

I am always looking for ways to make my beauty ritual cheaper so that I can spend more money on my mascara without feeling bad. This week I was a Rite Aid and spotted their razor knockoff of the Bic Soleil. I have a friend who uses the Bic version and loves them so I thought to myself "what's th worst that could happen?" and bought a box to try them out.

If you are wondering it discount razors are the way to go this summer season so that you can spend less on razor refills for your Venus (my personal razor of choice), I would tell you to SPLURGE on the name brand because the knockoffs not only shaved off my leg hair, but my leg skin as well.

I had the worst razor burn I have ever had (thank god I decided not to use it on my bikini line), my legs burn and I nicked myself more than once. I think that after this, if I decide to switch to another kind of razor, because Venus' are on the expensive side, I will stick with one that is not an off brand.

Friday Finance Challenge: It 's Almost Spring

It's March! It's almost spring! It's almost time to put the parka's in the closet to gather dust until we return to the ice age in another 6 months!

So your challenge this week is to go forth into your closets and basements and clean. Yup - SPRING CLEAN. Get rid of all that crap that just sits in boxes wasting space when they could be out in the world helping and/or being used by someone else. I got really motivated earlier this week and have already cleaned out my closet and the storage area that the apartment complex gave me and I have about 6 giant boxes of stuff that is going to be recycled/donated to charity. In fact, as soon as I hit the publish button, I am putting all of them into the car and I am going to take all of this crap to it's final destination/new home.

There is no feeling like the feeling of getting rid of stuff you don't need anymore.

TGIT Good Eats: This One's for Mother

In yesterday's post I talked about how my father and I have connected over cooking and mentioned that my mom never has spent much time in the kitchen. In honor of my mom, I thought that today's Good Eats recipe would be a casserole, and I found a really yummy Chicken and Veggie casserole to pass on!

You will need:

• 1 (10.75 ounce) can Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free)
• 3/4 cup water
• 1 (16 ounce) bag frozen vegetable pasta blend
• 2 cups cubed cooked chicken
• 1 cup Pepperidge Farm® Herb Seasoned Stuffing
• 2 tablespoons butter
  

1. Mix soup, water, vegetable pasta blend and chicken in 2-quart shallow baking dish. Mix stuffing and butter. Sprinkle on top.
2. Bake at 400 degrees F for 35 minutes or until hot.

Do you have a better casserole dish? Email me!

Cooking: Cocktails, Aprons and Family Ties

Over the last two months I have spent an increasing amount of time each week in the kitchen cook for myself and any of my friends who care to join me. The whole reason that I started learning to cook, really, is due to my menu planning efforts. But what I have gotten out of it has been worth way more than the money I'm saving at the grocery store.

There is something magical about standing over a stove with various pots bubbling before you, delicious smells wafting around in the air and, if you are anything like me, enjoying a nice little pre-dinner cocktail as your brandish your wooden spoon. There is something that makes me happy about having a spice rack and using it regularly, know what I have and how much of it I have left. Knowing that when I look in my fridge and find something about to go bad, I will find someway to work it into my dinner that night. It's satisfying ... and delicious.

But most of all, I like to be able to call my dad and brag about what I made that week and how good it turned out. As you may know, my mother never had much of a presence in the kitchen when I was growing up. It's nice to have something in common with my father, something that we can sit and talk about and not have to worry about including Mom or my brother.

I have a insta-connection with my mom (we're both girls) that I have never had with my dad. I love him and all, but I'm not so comfortable talking to him about "girl things" you know? And I'm pretty sure that he doesn't want to talk to me about the awesome deal I got on the awesome pumps that are going to be perfect to wear with that slinky black dress I have. But cooking? We can talk about that all day. And it's an 11 on a 1-10 scale of coolness to share a cocktail with my dad when I help him cook at the house.






Plus, I know get to sport one of these babies (and it's almost as satisfying to me as the cooking itself)

Bad Joke Monday

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you." Grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Steve?"

My friend told me this last night while we were enjoying drinks together at her apartment and it made me laugh so hard that I shot vodka sprite out of my nose. Sprite and vodka burn when they come out of your nose - holes people.

But despite the burn, she gave me one of the best belly laughs I have had in a good long while.