Budget is not a Four Letter Word

Budget.

The word strikes fear into my heart. It makes me think of a life without the ability to go to the mall and pick up that super cute skirt I've been lusting at for the last three months. No going out to eat with friends, no spending more money than I should have at the bar buying shots for my friends. No fun, no spending, no reason to live.

That is why I have never really had one before this year. I would try to spend the smallest amount I could on stuff that I wanted/needed. But what I've come to realize as I'm getting older and I have to pay for all my bills by myself is that all those little $20 or $30 purchases that I never thought were a big deal add up. And the add up fast. And before you know it, you spent your entire rent payment buying shoes at target, cheap scrapbook supplies, a drink with a friend, a quick lunch out ... the list just keeps growing.

I actually did spend a month's worth of rent without realizing it. When I did notice that my checking account had a nice, even $0 in it I went straight to my landlord to beg for forgiveness and to beg for a grace period until I could get the money together. The look that my landlord gave me when I told her that I had spent the rent money is what really motivated me to start budgeting.

She looked at me down her nose (which, up until that point, I thought was just a literary device. But it is not people - she really did look down her nose) and the glare that she was gave me made me feel about 2 inches tall. I realized that I needed to star taking accountability for my actions, for how I handle my money, and that I needed to change this today. My landlord did give me the extension on the rent but she made it very clear that she would never do it again. And that was fine by me because I didn't intend to pay my rent late ever again.

Since I have made a budget and started using it, I have discovered that i don't have to live a life devoid of spending money or having fun. I have found enjoyment in new things, like cooking, and have learned that spending money doesn't really mean that you are going to be buying happiness (although it does sometimes).